5 Signs That You Are Living In Fear

Fear is something we all deal with in life and a lot of the time, you may not even realize how your life is directly impacted by your own fearful thoughts and actions.mikala-morgan-louisiana

Here are five signs that fear is currently holding you back from fulfilling your life’s purpose:

You find yourself holding back from doing things that you know you should

Now, this might be a given, but just think about it: How many times have YOU kept YOU from doing something that you know deep down you should?

We are all our own worst enemies, and I know for sure that my biggest villain in life has been myself and this is due to fear.

Fear of rejection, fear of judgment, fear of success, fear of failure, fear of imperfection, you name it – I’ve been there, we all have. Once we all realize that we are creating more stress on ourselves than necessary, we can start to let those fears go.

You find yourself living more in vain

Now this one might catch you off-guard, as a lot of people will confuse confidence and contentment with selfishness and vanity.

There’s a difference.

With a world that thrives on showing off our best lives online, a lot of these “successful” people we are spending our lives comparing ourselves too are just as fearful if not more. If you find yourself constantly trying to prove something or living out selfish desires, you are most likely acting out of the fear acceptance. But there’s good news – you don’t have to!

We have become a society that is so focused on raising people to be independent and strong that we forget we were not made to be independent but rather interdependent. We need others, we need love and we need acceptance – it’s even in the Bible!

But how we go about fulfilling these external desires will affect our internal happiness.

Feeling lonely? Volunteer at a nursing home, many of these elders have no family or friends.

Feeling unattractive? Reach out to a person younger than you and mentor them. Self-esteem issues are on the rise in our younger generation.

Feeling depressed or anxious? Reach out and help a homeless veteran or someone in a VA facility. A lot of our veterans suffer from PTSD and anxiety far worse than you could imagine.

Feeling unloved or unworthy? Spend time at your local animal shelter. These animals value every time they spend with volunteers and are sure to put a smile on your face.

Notice a pattern up above? All of these examples bring happiness to your life by taking the time to reach out to bring happiness to someone else.

You find yourself procrastinating

Ahh, procrastination. If you have ever been in any type of classroom you know this word all too well. A lot of times people associate procrastination with laziness and to a certain extent it is, but often times if you look at the deeper root of why you procrastinate – it’s fear.

You don’t think you’re good enough or will do something good enough because you are afraid, so you keep pushing it off. I’m here to tell you from experience running away from your fears does not help nor fix them!

Try to face each task head on and in the moment, it will make all the difference in your life.

You find yourself trying to control too much

This is another major sign of fear! One of the biggest fears we face as humans… is change!

…and if you find yourself trying to control absolutely everything in your life to avoid that, it’s time to let go of your fears and face uncertainty. Change is a part of life and often times we miss out on great experiences because we become stuck in our own ways.

You find yourself settling

Now this a big one for us twenty-somethings, as we see this way too often and again it comes down to the fear of change. Whether it be your job, relationships, education, health, etc. Fear often leads us to settle for where we currently are and what we currently have because we are afraid to venture out to the unknown.

Don’t be afraid. We are only given one life and you never know what can happen in the next minute, let alone the next 10 years. Take charge of your fears and most importantly your life.

– MM

Advertisements

You Are The Company You Keep, Especially In Your 20s

friends-rooftop-cocktails

Your early 20s are beautiful, exciting, sad, fun, scary, adventurous and everything that you would least it expect them to be. And as I continue to live this early adulthood life of mine, the more I appreciate and understand the need for surrounding myself with people that empower me to be a better me.

This applies to friends, relationships, the workplace and more. Most people fail to realize that the old saying “You become who you hangout with” is not only true, but can be death sentence for your dreams if you don’t choose wisely.

Not only does your circle impact how you behave, but also how you think, feel and dream- and this backed by science. 

Stop and ask yourself: What are the 5 closest people to me actually like?

What are their goals? Are they ambitious? Do they constantly looks for ways to improve their lives? Are they positive? Do they complain about simple things? Do they admit their mistakes and improve? Are they open to change if it means for the better?

If things aren’t adding up in your life, it might be time to subtract.

And I mean this in the best possible way. I do believe that some people are in your life for just a season and that’s perfectly ok. 

What most fail to realize is that you naturally pick up the behaviors of others the more you surround yourself with them. Birds of a feather flock together. If you are constantly hanging out with negative, unmotivated people – you will become a negative, unmotivated person.

Align yourself with people who have already achieved the success you want

If you want to grow and achieve certain goals, align yourself with people who have already reached them. Talk to them, listen to them, learn from them. You will be surprised at how much your life can be changed by surrounding yourself with powerful people.

I am blessed to have driven, positive people around me daily that empower me to be a better person each day and I can’t wait to see the successes we bring upon each other in the future. 🙌✨

Training Your Mind

tyrese-morgan

Did you know that you can workout your mind just as you do your body?

Everyone knows that consistent exercise keeps you physically fit, but there isn’t as much of a cultural focus on the importance of training your mind — something I have grown to be very passionate about.

I have always been a fan of listening to motivational messages by speakers and podcasters, especially in the morning since your brain is operating at 10.5 wave cycles per second from the moment you wake up until 20 minutes after.  This means that whatever you are “feeding” your brain within the first 15-20 minutes after you wake up can affect your entire day.

Therefore, by listening to these positive and inspirational messages day after day right when you wake up, you can actually condition your mind to become more focused, motivated and goal-oriented.  How cool is that?

Furthermore, just as the time of day that you listen to these messages are important, the content you are consuming are equally, if not more, significant to changing the way you think. Just as doing 100 pushups incorrectly won’t do you as good as 50 pushups done correctly – quality over quantity.

There is no “trick” to being successful, just as there isn’t a quick fix diet pill that can help you improve your weight, patience and consistency are key.

With that being said, below are some of my favorite motivational speakers to listen to when reprograming my mind for success:

Les Brown

Earl Nightingdale

Gary Vee

Simon Sinek

Do Not Listen With The Intent To Reply – But With The Intent To Understand

I recently  finished reading the book Twenty-Two Letters, recommended and lended to me by a close friend – and boy, was it an eye-opener!

The stories were inspiring, because I often found myself imagining what it would be like if I were in any of the situations described. This led to a deeper mikala-morgan-central-park-nyc-2018understanding – then appreciation for the characters in the book, which reminded me of why listening to others is not just important, but necessary.

Everyone has a story of their own and one of the most valuable life lessons that I have learned so far is the act of simply listening – without the intent of replying but understanding.

Sounds simple, yet the digital-first society that we live in has made the very act of listening seem like a time-consuming and unrealistic task.

However, I think mindfully listening is one of the best skills that anyone can possess.

You will never agree with what everyone has to say – that’s human nature – but by taking the time to hear their side, their story and their reasonings you might just surprise yourself with a more observant mind, better patience and heightened gratitude.


MM

Trusting Your Own Intuition

“Think of your intuition as your cells’ way of communicating with you. Trust your cells, girl. They know what’s best for you.”

 

 

Anyone who knows me personally knows that I have always been a stickler for trusting my own intuition and encouraging others to do the same, especially at the point of my life that I am in right now, (newly college grad) but how do we ever truly know if our “gut” is leading us into the right direction?

I love this blog post by Imani Brammer on Elite Daily, as she went straight to a trustful source: a mindfulness-based psychotherapist named Lena Franklin.

Check it out!

“You know when you feel it in your gut? Like, you just feel it. You don’t really know what you feel, but you feel…it. It’s the “it” that makes your mother call you randomly to make sure you’re OK, because somehow, she just knows. It’s intangible, but it feels oh so palpable. That “it,” my love, is your intuition, or your “gut,” if that’s your jam. Depending on who you are, you might trust that intuition wholeheartedly, or perhaps you don’t listen to it enough. Either way, the question remains: Can you really trust your gut instincts?

Elite Daily spoke with mindfulness-based psychotherapist Lena Franklin, who lends a bit of insight on what that strong gut feeling actually is, and whether or not you can totally trust it.

She explains that, in a society oversaturated with information, for some people, the gut feeling can get a bit muddled among the muck and the mire of everyday life.

Trusting your gut is easier said than done in a society where we privilege intellect over intuition,” Franklin says.

If you already naturally trust your gut instincts, you likely have a strong sense of self, and you trust your body and your intuitive feelings not to steer you in the wrong directions in life.

But that doesn’t mean you’re any less secure in your sense of self if you don’t currently trust your gut instincts. Maybe you just need to know a little bit more about it.


So what exactly is a gut instinct, and what does it mean to trust it?

According to Franklin, “gut instincts are body-centered, conscious messages fueled by subconscious insights that we’ve been building since birth.”

Gut feelings, though internal, often initially come from some outside influences. You perceive something — someone’s facial expression, their tone of voice, whatever it may be — and though you may not even be aware of your perception, it’s triggering something inside of you.

Needless to say, it’s a bit different from the logical thinking you’re probably used to.

In fact, Franklin explains that when it comes to intuition and logic, those are two very different playing fields. Just because logic is, well, logical, does not make it more trustworthy than intuition.

She tells Elite Daily,

Trusting the gut is a whole different ball game than trusting logic. Gut instincts come from a bottom-upprocess, meaning that these messages stem from the body rather than from cognitive thoughts.

Logic is a top-down process of thought-based information. If we can distinguish where these messages originate from in the body, we can begin to actually trust the powerful wisdom of our guts rather than making impulsive life choices based on top down, fear-based thoughts.


If you’ve never really tapped into these intuitive gut feelings before, don’t fret. There are plenty of ways to start trying.

Franklin suggests meditation as your best bet, as it taps directly into your gut feelings, but in a calm state.

She explains,

Meditation strengthens our self-awareness, so much like doing bicep curls, we’re making our mindfulness muscle stronger.

The result is that, when we’re outside of our meditation practice, we create a habit of tuning into ourselves through awareness of the body, where intuition lives and thrives.

So the next time you are unsure of if you should listen to your gut or your mind, don’t be so quick to rule out that intuition of yours. It actually comes from a physical place in the body: your cells.

Franklin explains that your cells carry memory. They remember experiences that you’ve had throughout your life, and how you felt when you went through those situations — even if your brain can’t actually conjure up the memory.

Think of your intuition as your cells’ way of communicating with you. Trust your cells, girl. They know what’s best for you.”